did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night