stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.