Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
