It's Friday. Sex?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed