it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
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