my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
