It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
that's an acceptable place to lick
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
