Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
My life is pants optional.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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