Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize