I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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