soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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