I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
