Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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