Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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