This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
