dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
