when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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