Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
