btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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