Please, let me fuck your mom
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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