just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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