I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
