Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
