I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
40s are totally the cure
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
