Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
