we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016