so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?