me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
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Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.