sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
