Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today