if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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