operation have a gay friend backfired
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize