I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
We have started to decorate penises.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
