Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Randomize
