I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize