I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
