Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
