I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
