Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
