He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
