I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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