Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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