I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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