Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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