it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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