I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
