he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Randomize
