I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
