Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
and she was petting her beer can
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
