At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
