also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
