I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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