I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
