so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Drake has all the answers
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm too high and old for this...
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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