my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
