ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
