I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
