well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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