The maid of honor just puked.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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