i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
then he tried to convert me to islam
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
