I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize