I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
