are you still at the devil's house?
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
you didnt know i had herpes?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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