i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize
