You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
