you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
