her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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