We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Let's get the cat blown out
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
