I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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