Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize